time2 kecil2 dulu, i takot sgt ngan Daddy I... Daddy sgt sgt garang, bagi dia yg penting dlm hidup adalah ILMU.. pelajaran amat diutamakan.. kalo i dpt result xm kurang dr A or at least B+, mesti kena marah teruk... kat rumah kena study study study, nak tgk TV skit punye susah.. balik sekolah buka buku study sampai malam.. tgk tv boleh tapi kena tgk Cartoon dlm english.. perasaan takot pd Daddy menyebabkan i menjadi seorang yg suka memendam rasa, ape sahaja probs i jarang kongsi dgn orang, semua i simpan dalam hati.. utk berterus terang i amik masa yg agak lama... i pendam2 sampai i rasa tertekan n tak tahan, baru i akan terus terang dgn org itu.. sifat pendam ni mmg dr kecil sampai besar tak berubah.. dan apa yg terjadi dlm hidup i baru2 ni, sukar untuk dikongsi tapi sebab terlalu lama sgt pendam i rasa sgt tertekan... sukar utk digambarkan perasaan sekarang... mayb i look happy outside but inside only Allah knows... how i feel, what i feel and why i feel like this... yday, i really2 need to be alone, so i drove to Taman Monumen Alaf Baru, at the lake side... park my car and cried out loud inside the car... mmg i takleh fikir ape dah time tu, mcm probs yg dah banyak kumpul sampai sakit hati n kepala... cara yg terbaik adalah bersendirian.. lebih kurang sejam i duduk soang2 tepi tasik, buka radio kuat2, nyanyi kuat2 and menangis... thats the way i relieve my tense.. i hardly told people/ my friends about my probs... i did sms-ed a friend and she really helping in giving advises... TQ friend, u know who you are... after that, i went home... berfikir lagi, i tried to layan this one funny movie but i laughed with tears... i slept early and terjaga jam 2.30am, fikir sampai sakit otak pastu tido balik... then pagi ni keje pun dlm perasaan yg OK OK sahaja... u all jgnlah jadi mcm I, memendam rasa n memakan diri sendiri... FYI, until now, my siblings n me masih takot dgn daddy, we hardly talk to each other... dlm setahun boleh kira berapa kali... Daddy bukan sahaja garang tapi pendiam.. but we love Daddy so much.. Daddy sakit pun tak bagi tahu anak2, bila dah teruk baru kami perasan... we care about u Daddy.. ape yg Daddy didik dr kecil mmg ade baik dan buruknya.. buruknya mayb cuma 1 sahaja-kami adik beradik ada perasaan takot pd Daddy and suka pendam perasaan kalo ade probs...
my conclusion, parents kat luar sana jgn lah mendera 'minda' anak anda.. jgn wujudkan perasaan takot anak anda kepada anda cuz akan mempengaruhi fikiran mereka apabila dewasa...wujudkan bonding yg baik dgn anak2... jadilah parents yg cool, sporting but firm at the same time... jgn sekat interest dan hobi anak2 anda... jadikan diri sendiri Idola kepada anak2.. orite itu sahaja... have a good MONday every1...
my conclusion, parents kat luar sana jgn lah mendera 'minda' anak anda.. jgn wujudkan perasaan takot anak anda kepada anda cuz akan mempengaruhi fikiran mereka apabila dewasa...wujudkan bonding yg baik dgn anak2... jadilah parents yg cool, sporting but firm at the same time... jgn sekat interest dan hobi anak2 anda... jadikan diri sendiri Idola kepada anak2.. orite itu sahaja... have a good MONday every1...
4 comments:
Hey girl you are just like me you know. I can count how many times I drove my care alone to someplace and cried my heart out, or nangis sampai terlelap and then terjaga with horrible eye bags,and then go to work with ppl asking me whats wrong tapi I diam je. But the scar left is very deep you know. I realised how dangerous it can be after I gave birth. My post partum depression was a killer. I only felt better after speaking about my problems to people. That made me realise that there are so many people out there who care about me and uplifts my spirit. Let me tell you something. I think your bonding with your dad will start once your junior is born. Time will tell. A lot of things will change once a child is born, trust me. A lot of egos will be broken because of love :-)
i hope so.. but im not ready to tell people about my probs..
Dont worry gal. Time will evetually heal the pain. For me, it was something very drastic that made me talk to someone. If not I dont know what would have happened to me :-)
hey kiera..
aku pun ada waktu akan nangis kuat2 dalam kereta...sebab dengan keadaan d rumah, [aku ada rummate], dlm kereta lah nak menangis nak meraung, di situ je aku boleh buat...
btw, aku pun sama dalam hal ada masalah. Cuma, aku belajar utk tidak simpan lama2. Aku cari kawan yg betul2 boleh dengar..just mendengar...aku sudah cukup hargai.
Hopefully, kau tetap kuatkan hati..
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